Today is my little brother’s birthday. He is 41–not so little, I know. But all eight of us are over 40 now, and he will always be my little brother–I’ll tell you why!
Several years ago now, my husband and I were doing everything we could do try to have a baby. Among those things included fertility treatments. For anyone who’s gone through this process, you will know, it’s an emotional, all-consuming strategy to becoming a parent. Doctors appointments, prescriptions, vitamins, self-injections of hormones, moodiness, sleeplessness, all in an effort to conceive a child.
Steve and I followed the rules, including the unspoken but ever-present one: take the romance out of baby making. We did, however, achieve the intended outcome–I got pregnant. At about 10 or 11 weeks, we told our family. Of course, there were congratulatory hugs and well wishes. But just after we told everyone, I miscarried.
We were on the way home from a family celebration in Connecticut on a Sunday in February. I was driving and began to feel a horrible backache. I had to pull over and Steve drove the rest of the way. Once we got home it happened. I will not share the rest of those details, except to say that Steve called my Mom who came over right away. She and Andy made the calls to tell my brothers and sisters.
The overwhelming sadness and feelings of loss subsided with time, and with support of my loving and amazing family. Everyone responded with such kindness and consideration. Two days after the physical loss my brother David came over to see me. I was lying on my bed napping. He came down the hall, whispered, “Hey, Kel.” I cried and got good and hugged (David is an exceptional hugger). Then David, handed me a small white box and inside was what looked like a bracelet of pink beads. As it turned out it was this beautiful rosary.
A most thoughtful gift, to be sure. I used it during the next fertility treatment, and every night for a very long time thereafter to help me get to sleep. It still has this very special spot on my nightstand. Every day that I look at it, I know where it came from and the thoughtfulness of my little brother. Thanks, David! And, Happy Birthday!
- Six Ways To Stay Connected While Dealing With Infertility (relationships.answers.com)
- Do Fertility Treatments Actually Work? (infertility.answers.com)
- Learning to Cope: How to Deal with a Miscarriage (infertility.answers.com)
- Comments After A Miscarriage (kellysumner.wordpress.com)