Among the people you’ve known for a long time, who is the person who’s changed the most over the years? Was the change for the better?
At the heart of humans do we really change all that much, even over many years? I don’t think so. We certainly make changes to our habits, maybe come to a deeper understanding of how we view the world, or how we interact with each other; but I don’t think time changes who we are at our core. I’m one of those optimists who believes that people are born “good”.
To follow this line of thinking then, if people are born “good” they can only get better! I’ve known my husband now for ten years, we’ve been married for nine. To say that he’s changed a lot would be a bit of an understatement–at least in my eyes. During the first few months we were together he had what I call ” the shrimp fork episode”, a time in his life when he was feeling particularly low. As a result, all housekeeping chores were ignored, including washing the dishes. He was down to the last shrimp fork in the utensil drawer!
After a hot shower, while I did the dishes, he was feeling better and “shrimp fork day” was behind him; and near as I can tell he never looked back! Together we’ve shared some life-changing moments in our relationship that could have destroyed a lesser couple; infertility, miscarriage, home-buying, custody fight for our grandchildren, bankruptcy, job changes, unemployment. Through it all my husband worked very hard to make sure that whatever mistakes he may have made in previous relationships would not be repeated; clearly, change for the better.
If you ask him he might tell you that I’ve changed for the better, too. We’ve worked individually and together to make our life a good one. Changes for the better…we hope; and we’ll continue down that path for many years to come. Thanks, honey!